Zombie Strippers

Zombie Strippers – 2008

* Out of ****

A movie such as this is always a toss up. One is certainly given enough information from the title about what to expect, and as such the result can be utter crap, or a devilishly guilt ridden B movie indulgence. I will leave my personal classification open to interpretation based upon the rest of this critique.

B movies are a quirky little niche of the movie industry, slipping past the radar and existing as poor in many aspects of traditional filmmaking standards, yet somehow rising to the occasion to please grinning audiences. Sometimes a movie is intended to be a B, and sometimes it happens by accident; usually in the hands of an amateur and underfunded auteur. Regardless of how a movie like Zombie strippers came to be (even though it is fairly apparent in this case) the polished result, and I use that term loosely, can be perceived in three ways. The first, is a movie that is the bonafide gold standard of schlock, the second is one that has a burning admiration for this genre and directs an homage as a salute. The final and obnoxiously common result is a film that tries desperately to exist as a B movie, but fails on every level and unfortunately, Zombie Strippers is a direct offspring of the latter.

I have stated before that I am a sucker for zombie films, but I have no such admiration for this picture; this zombie film just sucks. 2008 as a whole has shown a weak display of this genre, the best being the disappointing Diary of the Dead by legend George A. Romero. Also more notable is the more successful B movie, the Romero remake, Day of the Dead. Perhaps the largest flaw of Zombie Strippers (I assure you, there are a number) is the decision to forfeit most elements of the classic “zombie” picture. This lack of tradition is even more clear, due to the fact that it is supposed to be traditional; a homage; a throwback. I won’t disclose exactly how it fails to meet these expectations, with fear of disclosing the “plot”. Other issues range from the sometimes intolerable script which only occasionally descends into something gleefully tacky, the acting, while not vital to a picture of this calibre needs to be watchable, and pacing. Forgoing all else, this garbage unfolds at a snails pace (make that a crippled snail), mostly consisting of random and supposedly politically satirical humour and extended strip scenes, which lose their appeal quickly when the go-go’s start to go-bad. There is some well done gore for the budget, but it is most certainly not worth your time.

Called to a chemical lab, a group of elite soldiers are shocked to discover the result of a government re-animation program; zombies. Dispatching of the threat, the virus escapes into a nearby strip-club, run by the devilish Robert Englund of Nightmare on Elm St. fame, who I am sure was full after filming, from all the scenery he had been chewing on. Among the sultry strippers is Kat, played by Jenna Jameson, whose boyfriend Jay Lee directed. The virus affects men and women differently, leaving only women with their pre-existing mental capacity, but tacking on a degrading demeanour and hunger for flesh. The catch, it appears in death that these women can strip up a storm, and soon, despite pushing a few bodies under the rug, business is booming. All is perfect for Ian (Englund) and his group of co-workers and friends, until the gals get a tad antsy and things get out of control.

Despite the possibly of good intentions, Zombie Strippers is simply dreck; an overlong and ploddingly paced humourless mess and your money would be better spent on Romero’s latest venture, or renting last years Grindhouse. In Zombie Strippers, the only memorable thing stripping away is your patience and the dignity of those involved.